There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
