Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
