grandma shit on top of the toilet
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Help. Why am I so naked?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
