At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
