ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
