Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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