Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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