I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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