Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
