im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
