At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize