I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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