so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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