Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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