And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
