As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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