this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
