went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Someone signed my nipple.
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