Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
