One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
now i know why i became what i already was.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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