i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
