I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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