i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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