the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
