Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
