Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Everclear isn't food dammit
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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