I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
