he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
