Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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