just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize