I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
