i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
