what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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