I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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