There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
