Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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