I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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