so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
