he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
