Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
