i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
