the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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