If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize