You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
