I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
