No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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