just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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