yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
