i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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