I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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