Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
