I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
