What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
