I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
