ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
