can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
